The Myth of Balance #28
life doesn’t happen in equal parts
We often hear about the pursuit of balance, as if life could be neatly divided and equally weighted. But what if balance isn’t the goal? What if striving for that elusive equilibrium only leads to frustration?
I’m entering a moment in my life that will probably be the most “unbalanced” so far: Expecting a baby! Learning so many new things, and imagining what it will be like when a tiny human is fully dependent on me. I want to embrace this moment and give myself fully to this new chapter, rather than chasing an impossible ideal of balance.
Featured Insight:
Here is an example I think most people can relate to: when you fall in love, nothing feels more important than making time to truly know that person. None of it is “balanced.”
But that focus—that unwavering commitment to know someone as deeply and quickly as possible—is exactly what propels us forward, or at least helps us figure it out sooner when it isn’t a match and avoid wasting future time in a relationship that doesn’t serve us.
Now think of it in other areas of life: pursuing a fitness or health goal, navigating a career challenge or a complete professional change, becoming a new parent, launching a business, going through recovery or personal reinvention, or diving into a creative pursuit like writing a book or building a body of art. You get the idea, whatever it is for you.
These seasons don’t require moderation and balance; they demand presence and full commitment.
To be present means to give yourself over to the task, the dream, the challenge.
You don’t dilute yourself into equal parts for everything else. You dive in.
It reminds me of when I left my aviation job to pursue photography. I started from zero: new field, new tools, a new version of myself. I was obsessed.
Every spare moment went into learning about my camera, mastering light, practicing editing, understanding marketing. But the challenge wasn’t just learning a craft. It was building a business that had to be profitable. I had left behind a stable job and bet everything on something completely new.
I experimented with different areas of photography and said yes to any job that came my way.
I started with whatever I could get: pregnancy shoots, children’s birthday parties, corporate events, engagements, portrait sessions, tourist experiences like desert adventures and boat trips. Whatever the subject, I used it to practice and sharpen my skills. Every spare bit of money went into this pursuit: cameras, lenses, flashes, lights, gimbals, tripods, courses.
Time, energy, money. It all went in. Nothing was held back.
By my second year, I was able to choose my jobs and had figured out the niche that suited both me and the market. I was working with some of the top hotels, beach clubs, and lifestyle restaurants in Dubai, where I was living at the time.
From the outside, it might have looked seamless. Effortless, even.
But only I know the hours poured in. The sleepless nights. The quiet doubts. The unbalanced focus it took to turn an idea into something real.
What looks like effortless brilliance in someone else’s achievements is almost always built on a quiet, invisible groundwork of dedication.
Recently, I read Can’t Hurt Me by David Goggins. He developed what he calls the 40% rule: when you think you’ve hit your limit, you’re only using about 40% of your true capacity.
His story is one of relentless focus, of pushing through unimaginable pain, and of choosing intensity over comfort.
From an abusive childhood to channeling that pain into physical endurance, becoming a Navy SEAL, finishing 60+ ultra-races (often ranking in the top five), and becoming a bestselling author and speaker. Goggins proves that transformation comes through relentless presence and intensity.
Looking back and observing those I admire, one thing is clear: life is hardly ever balanced.
It’s these deep, focused seasons that shape something lasting.
The truth is, we’re all capable of more than we think, and our dreams deserve that kind of devotion.
So embrace the shifting of weights in different seasons of life.
Not for applause. Not for status. Not to prove anything.
But for the quiet, personal satisfaction of giving yourself fully to something that matters to you.
Creative Corner:
This is the part of the newsletter where I share films, books, art, or anything creatively inspiring. For this edition, one pick came to mind instantly. And I’ll admit I’m completely biased about it.
🎬 Watch: Senna (Netflix, 2024) :
It’s hard to explain what Ayrton Senna meant to Brazilians. In a pre-social media era, when the whole country still tuned into the same TV channels, we shared a collective idol. All of Brazil (let’s remember, it is the size of a continent) would stop to watch him race. And in a time when we, as a nation, often felt like underdogs, he brought us pride. He gave us someone to believe in. He always made sure to celebrate his victories wrapped in the Brazilian flag. He brought pride to a country hungry for inspiring figures.
Most people see the speed, the champagne, the glamour but few realize Formula 1 is one of the most physically demanding sports on earth. A single race can burn over 1,500 calories. Drivers often lose 2 to 4 kilograms of water weight in just one event. The pressure on their heads can feel like 30 kilograms pulling sideways through the curves.
Their training is comparable to that of elite Olympic athletes: neck strength training to withstand gravitational force, cardio and VO₂ max conditioning to sustain high heart rates and sharp focus, hand–eye coordination sessions (because at 300 km/h, milliseconds matter) and most importantly, mental resilience: the ability to make split-second decisions under relentless physical and emotional stress.
Senna lived this obsession. While I truly enjoyed the series, I found myself wishing it had shown more of this preparation (more of the behind-the-scenes intensity it takes to be at that level).
He wasn’t in balance.
But he was in alignment—with his purpose, his craft, and the path he chose to follow.
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Really enjoyed this. As someone who struggles with imbalance (I tend to favor regularity) this hit home. Also have been struggling professionally, and with photography. Thank you for sharing and I look forward to the next one!
What an interesting point of view, truly intriguing and which certainly resonated with me. While this captivated my attention it draws me to another level of balance (or imbalance) which is extremism of any kind. I think that these bursts of full and utter commitment, can quickly turn to obsession that then lead down a narrow path of seizing to see anything else (and ignoring other possibilities out there). Well written!